With only a couple of days left in 2010, I have been thinking about what I want the new year to look like – new year’s resolutions, if you will.
Part of making this year’s resolutions successful is taking a look back at last year’s resolutions and evaluating how I did.
Last year was the first time I did new year’s resolutions for as long as I can remember. Normally, I am of the school of thought that you shouldn’t let the calendar dictate when you should start making positive changes in your life.
But, last year was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, so I thought it appropriate to make some sort of map of what I wanted to do.
Here’s what I said on this blog last New Year’s Eve,
For the past several years, my life has been exactly the same year after year, with New Year’s Day signifying only my renewed commitment to strengthening my relationship with Jesus Christ.
This year, there is no such commitment renewal. There is no Jesus Christ. There is only this world and this life. I will spend this year trying to figure out how to best live this life, without fear or anticipation for what comes after death, without trying to serve or please some non-existent deity, without being afraid of my own thoughts and feelings.
This year, I resolve to enjoy every moment of my new-found freedom. I vow to make myself a better person and the world a better place, not out of fear or a need to impress god or bring people to him, but because this is the only life I have and I want to make it count.
Off-blog, my new year’s resolutions were a bit more specific. I bought a nice, new journal and wrote in it my 2010 goals.
- Walk, daily
- Write in my journal, daily
- Learn to play guitar
- Make more money (from home)
So, how’d I do?
1. I actually did this for quite a while, but then my bad knee started bothering me – a lot – especially once I increased the intensity. After that, I started learning hoop dancing, which I am still doing. So, I kind of feel like I actually kept this resolution, or at least the spirit of it, which was to get my butt up off the couch and get some exercise.
2. This I did not do. It’s unfortunate because it could have made things a lot easier for me this year because I went through a lot of emotional stuff with the deconversion and then with my marriage (which I know I have not talked about yet). The bottom line for this exercise is determining why I was not successful with this goal. The reason is that I did not make time for it. I didn’t take it seriously.
3. Again, fail. I spent a few weeks practicing chromatic scales and that was the end of it. The problem? Did you read that last sentence? I made something fun into something dreadfully boring. What I should have done was start by learning a few simple, fun songs, so playing the guitar was not a chore, but something I wanted to do. That is typical Charity, though, which acknowledging is hopefully going to benefit me in the future.
4. Too vague. I did make a few extra dollars, so technically I did meet this goal. But, that isn’t what I meant when I said it. I should have written down how much money I wanted to make and my plans for getting there, or something like that.
So, now I have a list of what to do this year, based on what I did wrong last year – make specific, measurable goals, don’t suck the joy out of something that was meant to be fun (or anything, for that matter), make time for my goals and take them seriously.
Despite these failures, I did a lot of positive things in 2010. I started eating right and exercising and taking care of myself – and I lost 20 pounds. I dealt with a lot of emotional baggage. I did some difficult work on my marriage. I made some new friends online, and I made it a point to spend time with my offline friends, in real life.
Overall, 2010 was a positive year for me, but I am glad it is over. It was a transition year for me and transitions are often hard. I am looking forward to 2011 and to moving ahead with my life free from a lot of the emotional burdens that weighed on me this year.
stretchy alien!