I saw that on Twitter last week.
I had to laugh when I read that. Can you imagine if a woman said that about her husband?
Fred isn’t controlling, but he demands I live a certain way.
How would we respond to that? We wouldn’t expect a woman to tolerate a husband who demanded she live a certain way.
Yet, somehow, it is okay that a benevolent god holds that attitude.
I heard the god-as-abusive-spouse argument when I was a Christian and, honestly, I thought it was stupid. I thought it was a stretch. I did not think it was an accurate comparison.
But, it really is. It is twisted to tell people that god loves them, but they are inherently bad. That god accepts them, but they need to change. That god has given them freedom, but he will punish them if they do not live his way.
I don’t think that it works to try to point out to a Christian that they are worshiping an emotionally abusive and controlling god. When you are in it, you cannot see the truth in that. You dismiss it, thinking that the person making the claim just doesn’t understand.
But, I think it is important for someone coming out of Christianity to hear this and take it to heart. It helps with the healing process.
There are a lot of emotional scars to deal with after leaving Christianity. After being told constantly that your worth comes from god, and that you are worthless without his love, it takes a while to regain your own sense of self-worth.
That process begins with understanding that “god” is the bad one, not you.
“We wouldn’t expect a woman to tolerate a husband who demanded she live a certain way.”
Yikes, I can easily imagine someone saying that at our old church! I remember my wife being afraid I would take that attitude and pressure her to have more children. I would not have pressured her, but she had friends in the church who were. We felt that kind of abuse was wrong, but you are right, it is hard to see so clearly, to realize your feelings are justified, when you are immersed in that culture.