I am posting a quote I read on a homeschooling blog, Just Enough and Nothing More, so I don’t forget it. This blog seems like a good place to put it.
Deschooling for parents is awakening to the awesome that is in ourselves, and in our kids, and relearning how to get along in the world without the stress and worry of having to check off the list and prove that we’re worth something. Instead, we need to retrain ourselves to just live, learn, and grow into the success that we are destined to be.
Deschooling, for those of you not familiar with homeschooling lingo, is a period of basically doing nothing after you pull your kid(s) out of school. It’s a time to decompress and let go of all the angst and baggage that come with institutionalized education. Usually, by the time parents are pulling kids out of school, the kids have a negative association with learning.
I have been going though a period of deschooling with my boys, even though we have been homeschooling for four-and-a-half years. I started out this school year with a rigid curriculum, schedule, and expectations, which, let’s just say, didn’t work out so well. I decided to move toward a more relaxed style of homeschooling, where learning happens more organically, through books, movies, hands-on activities, museums, and other outings, instead of being so rigid with the book work. (I have no idea what possessed me to go back to harping on the book work. I think it was just that the boys are in middle school this year and I started to panic.)
I love that quote. I love the idea of not having to check things off on a list and not having to prove something. I am constantly worrying if my kids are learning enough, but I don’t understand why. I know that they are learning a lot. I am with them every day. They are inqusitive and curious and want to know how the world works. They like to check things out and take things apart to see how they work. They like to ask questions and think about things.
This time of deschooling has awakened me to the awesome that is in my kids. Now that I am no longer fighting with them about doing their grammar or math book, I have more time to appreciate them. Homeschooling isn’t a drudgery anymore; it’s fun.
Even though that quote applies to my homeschooling life, that’s not why I wanted to remember it. That quote also applies to my dechurching process that I have been going through ever since I left Christianity.
Much in the same way deschooling is a recovery process from institutionalized learning, this dechurching process has been a recovery from Christianity.
Dechurching is awaking to the awesome that is in myself and relearning how to get along in the world without the stress and worry of having to check off the list and prove I am worth something. Instead, I need to retrain myself to just live, learn, and grow into the success that I am destined to be.
It really fits.
Being a Christian left me always feeling like there was something more I needed to be, or to stop being. There was always one more area that I needed to “give up to God” in order to be “more like His Son.” There was always some other way that I was being disobedient or rebellious or selfish. I was never finished. I could never just be happy with who I was. There was always something more that needed to be done with me to make me into the person “God created me to be.”
Since dechurching, I have discovered my awesome. I don’t need to be more. I don’t need to give anything up to god. I am okay with just being who I am.
Don’t get me wrong. There is always room for self-improvement. I am not going to stay stuck at 33 for the rest of my life. I am growing and changing, learning and improving over time.
The thing about Christianity is that you are never good enough. That’s kind of the whole premise – you need Jesus because you are not good enough. How can you ever be happy with yourself when your goal is to be like Jesus?
I am much happier just being me – flawed, imperfect, awesome me.
